BILLY SKIPPER’S BIG WEEKEND BASH

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Thanks for coming to my big weekend ‘bash’

For a few good laughs and a night on the ‘lash’

Friends like Den and John and the infamous Tavs

A couple of friends and a couple of chavs

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I’m a man of few words as most of you know

I put together a speech, but it went a bit slow

So I went to see my friend Bob, he said he was quite keen

To put my few words through his poetry machine

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This weekend is a double celebration as well you might know

It’s the time when I reach the big old ‘five oh’

But more importantly, ‘cos I’ve hit those heady heights

Of climbing all of the 214 Wainwright’s

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It’s been a fantastic challenge and now it’s complete

I’m pretty damn proud at achieving this feat

But it would never have happened had I not seen the light

A couple of years back, with John, one drunken night

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So it’s a big thanks to him ’though it was alcohol induced

It might have been easier had I simply refused

And this is where I congratulate John tonight

Cos he’s just completed the same 214 by Wainwright

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He’s been a rock while covering this fine Cumbrian land

137 of them while holding my hand

And not forgetting Den who has clocked 85 with me

With wife Karen on 41 and son Paul on 23

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And not forgetting Jim, who has been on a few

And others here tonight, who came for one or two

Thanks to you guys, I won’t sell you short

I raise my glass and say “cheers”, thanks for your support

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One final thought before I put this to rest

Why do the Wainwright’s in the first place, this quest

To keep me out of the pub at weekends don’t you know

I was destined to fail having John and Den in tow

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And now the big ‘five oh’ hits me in the morn

It doesn’t seem 5 minutes since young Skipper was born

I have to admit I’ve had a good innings so far

And hope to continue for some time buying drinks at the bar

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I’ve done more than most and have had a good life

The best was when Karen kindly became my wife

 She’s been at my side through the good times and bad

“Karen, you’ve been my Angelina, while I’ve been your Brad”

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And then Paul came along over 8 years ago

He changed our lives for the better as you all well know

It brought a tear to me eye what I heard from my lad

He said, “I just love being with my Mam and Dad”

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What else have I done during my 50 year ‘term’

I remember when I had my ‘Kevin Keegan’ perm

Had a motor bike accident which was a bit of a farce

And managed to put an extra hole in my arse

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I’ve enjoyed my fundraising, to give something back

When it comes to charity, we have all raised a stack

From bike runs to beer runs, I’ve organised some trips

And still have memories of 9 Boxing Day dips

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From the recent ‘Boxing Day dip’ a story to share I oughta

As a bunch of grapes I dreaded going face down in the water

My fears were of drowning and floating out to sea

While Karen’s thoughts were videoing pictures of me

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Raising money by eating the hottest curry in the land

Was a blast and helped to raise over 4 grand

We’ve all done our bit and all in this room would agree

To put something back and to give generously

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But as I said my life has been real good

Like most blokes here I like my beer and my food

I can always get down to The Hen in a hurry

For a few swift beers then out for a curry

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I enjoy the gym but not as much as The Hen

Where I can meet with the boys and we pretend to be men

We have a good laugh at our corner at the bar

Putting the world to rights having jar after jar

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I’ve also had my moments and went off the rail

A run in with the law and spent 3 hours in jail

I stole a beer glass from a pub down in Keswick

Now have a record and feel such a prick

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If you ask Karen about my pet hates

It’s housework, anything in the kitchen and washing up plates

And like most women here, Karen has a degree in nagging

And comes top of the class with her finger wagging

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And when I look back at my life it’s ‘out of whack’

Everything so far has been done front to back

A father at 42 and at 47 a graduate at the ‘uni’

With a few quid in the bank and the looks of George Clooney

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And at the age of 49 got my first touring bike

And a brand new tent for when I’m off on a hike

I’m just trying to cram as much in, while on this earth’s soil

Before I have to shuffle off from this mortal coil

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So what can I say about the 50 years past

Only that it’s gone by too blinking fast

My motto is “too much world and not enough time”

But then again, I’m a man in his prime

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So just remember one thing and it is the real deal

You’re only as young as the woman you feel

And Karen is my world and I feel young when she’s around

And my lad Paul keeps my feet on the ground

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So as I finish up now, I’ve one more thing to say

I have enjoyed sharing my life with you on this special day

So as I raise my glass to you one and all here

Thanks for today, now get me a fresh beer

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Billy skipper 23rd January 2010